After leaving Mr. Antolini’s, I went to the Grand Central Station and spent the night sleeping on a bench in the waiting room. The next day, I walked up and down Fifth Avenue, watching the children and feeling more and more nervous and overwhelmed. Every time I crossed a street, I felt like I would disappear, so each time I reached a curb, I called to Allie, pleading with him to let me make it to the other side. I decided to leave New York, hitchhike west, and never go home or to school again. I imagined living as a mute, never talking to anybody, and marrying a deaf-mute girl.

I went to Phoebe’s school and wrote her a note telling her to meet me at the Museum of Art so I could give the money she lent him. As I wandered around my old school, I became even more depressed when I found the words “f**k you” scrawled on the walls.
While waiting at the museum, I showed two young kids where the mummies were. I lead them down the hallway to the tomb exhibit, but they got scared and ran off, leaving me alone in the dark, cramped passage. I liked it at first, but then I saw another “f**k you” written on the wall. When I die, I bet somebody will probably write the words “f**k you” on my tombstone. I left the exhibit to wait for Phoebe. On the way to the bathroom, I sort of passed out.

Phoebe arrived at the museum with a suitcase and begs me to take her with me. I felt dizzy and I worried that I would pass out again. I told her that she cannot possibly go with me and I felt even closer to fainting. She got really angry, and refused to look at me, and returned my hunting hat. I told her I wouldn’t go away and I asked her to go back to school. She angrily refuses, and I offered to take her to the zoo.

We walk to the zoo, I was on one side of the street, Phoebe following angrily on the other. After looking at some animals, we walk to the park, now on the same side of the street, although still not quite together. We came to the carousel, and I convinced Phoebe to ride it. I sat on a park bench, watching her go around and around. We seemed to be getting along again, she put my red hunting hat on my head, and suddenly I felt so happy I felt like crying.